


A Winter Wonder-Plan

by Mabel_Juice



Category: Keroro Gunsou | Sgt. Frog
Genre: KeroTama is very secondary, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 04:53:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13896678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mabel_Juice/pseuds/Mabel_Juice
Summary: Kururu is tired of beating around the bush with Giroro, and drags his longtime crush along on a chaotic adventure to try to win him over.





	1. Giroro’s Morning

Giroro preferred a rather eclectic but simple array of life’s offerings. He loved the smell of roasted potatoes, the sounds of war, and at heart he was a true romantic. Silent hours he spent with his cat snoring next to him were worth so much. Thoughts of Natsumi and heavy machinery dancing in his mind's eye. 

Sometimes Giroro would write poetry. Though no one understood his imagery. The things he thought were beautiful didn't seem to match nearly anyone else's definition. That was okay. After all, Giroro told himself; he was a soldier, not a poet.

The sun was a bright red yolk just emerging from Tokyo's skyline, bleeding an array of colours onto the retreating stars. When Giroro took the first steps out of his tent he noted that it was the first day the dew had been chilled enough to frost over. A dull white coat made the grass crunch softly with each of his steps. Cold air filled his lungs, jolting him to a heightened awareness. Birds sang a greeting to him from the roof of the Hinata house. Despite himself, Giroro smiled at the tranquil surroundings. His gut told him that today was going to be something special. 

"Giroro?" Natsumi called from the backdoor. A tingle went down Giroro's spine. When he saw her there, all ready to go in her school uniform, his heart tightened. It was as painful as it was exhilarating. 

Even though he had such a surge of emotions, he tried to keep his cool. Giroro stood up from his spot on his log, only to try to lean against it. That looked cool right? Leaning on things? He'd seen that Saburo boy Natsumi was always swooning over lean on things. Suave bastard... Spiraling into his own separate world, he jumped a bit when Natsumi called out a second time. "Uh... Yes?" Giroro finally answered, kicking himself mentally.

"Can you make sure sergeant lazy-ass gets up at a decent hour? He's been staying up late since he watched that horror film where the aliens steal your body if you fall asleep..." Natsumi trailed off, tilting her head cutely to the side. Her pigtails bounced pleasantly with even the slightest movement. 

How could Giroro say no to a face like that? "Yes, of course!" he promised much too eagerly. 

"Thanks, I know I can count on you," Natsumi beamed and sauntered back into the house. 

Giroro decided that it was as good a time as any to wake his commanding officer. Not that he was letting himself be ordered around by the enemy! Keroro WAS a lazy asshole who shouldn't be left to sleep all day. They had a planet to conquer! 

On his way down to Keroro's room, Giroro ran face to face into Tamama. The young tadpole's eyes widened in surprise, a blush spreading across his white, chubby face. Giroro lifted a brow, sensing something off about his expression, "You're here early, soldier," he noted. 

"Yeah!" Tamama agreed loudly, accenting his forced reply with a nervous laugh, "EARLY. I am just now getting here, sir." 

Giroro's days of youth flashed before him. Always trying his hardest to do well and impress his superiors. Tamama rarely reminded him of himself, but in that moment Giroro became blinded with pride. Surely he had been an influence on this boy! Any trace of suspicion faded, Giroro nodded approvingly and praised, "Good show of initiative!" A wave of surprise washed over Tamama's face, but he quickly brushed it away. He squeaked out a Thank-you and ran past the red frog. 

Giroro continued on, taking a moment to choose the proper weapon to draw. Nothing lethal. Just something a little stronger than your average alarm clock. A smile cracked across his face. With a one deft kick to the door, Giroro exploded into the room. 

Keroro sat up in bed when he heard the door knob slam into the dry wall. His eyes opened to a grenade hurdling towards his face. A high pitched, "GERO-" escaped his throat right as the explosion knocked him out of bed. 

The sight of Keroro's smoldering, afro adorned form twitching across the floor sickened Giroro. "You're a soldier, act like it! You had at least half a second to react!" he barked out mercilessly.

In lieu of Giroro's command, Keroro started to roll on the ground and cry, becoming drenched in his own tears. "Gero! You're so mean!" He whined childishly. It was absolutely disgusting to see a high ranking officer behave in such a way. 

Giroro could never get over Keroro's immaturity, no matter how many times he witnessed it. He gingerly walked past the temper tantrum his platoon leader was throwing, and worked his way over to the refrigerator. The door opened to reveal the swirling portal, but he growled out some final words to Keroro before being sucked in, "I'm coming back in ten minutes, and if you aren't doing something productive to the mission, I might just have to give you a second wake up call." The sound of Keroro whining echoed through the glowing vortex. 

Immediately, Giroro knew something was wrong. This definitely wasn't the base; the portal must've malfunctioned. He shivered and checked out his new surroundings. Snow. There was a blanket of untouched snow as far as his eyes could see! He turned around frantically, trying to fight off his Keronian body's natural defense of slipping into a deep hibernation when exposed to drastically low temperatures. If he passed out now, he could die out here in this wasteland. 

There was no door back. Nothing. Nothing but burning white cold for miles. 

Giroro's numb little legs only managed to carry him a few steps before he collapsed, and all the white of his soon to be resting place separated into a colorful spectrum behind his shut eyes. Delirium and nausea took over his panicking mind. Maybe it was just his swirling thoughts playing with him, but in his final moment of consciousness, he could've sworn he heard an echo of a familiar laugh.


	2. Kururu’s Lament

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...or: the chapter that should have been first, but the tone didn’t feel right.

Nothing good has ever come from a bored Kururu. 

He sat, arms folded plaintively. Before he came to this planet he used to raise all sorts of Hell. Oh sure, he still played the occasional prank, messed up his platoon's missions for monetary gain- or just because he felt like it. It wasn't the same, though. There was only so much trouble he could get into tethered to Pekopon. Things had begun to stagnate- honestly had already been stagnating for a while. His life had grown as monotonous as a formulaic slice of life anime. 

He remembered back to his party days. With his band, with a string of faceless friends and lovers. There was always a new planet to explore, a new recreational drug to synthesize, a different alien species to mess around with. The mystery that shrouded him had attracted the all different types to him. Even creatures whose parts didn't quite match up with his, like that orb that emitted a light strong enough to burn through weaker lifeforms' retinas. Sexy, dangerous, all knowing, and powerful. That orb had really had it all. Everything but a fuckable hole, that is. 

But now, stuck down in the Hinata's basement, Kururu's glasses nearly broke off his face when he came out of his nostalgic stupor to see a gif of a small furry Pekoponian with the comic sans label 'cat puns freak meowt' on his screen. How the mighty have fallen... 

Perhaps Earth had softened him. Not just the planet, but everything that came with his job. For the first time in his life, he had made friends who were constantly around. People he could rely on, who -more or less- accepted him even though they knew so much about him. Usually when people figured out what a crazy asshole he was, they tried everything in their power to get away from him. The few out there who did understand him tended to drift from place to place. They didn't go looking for him and he didn't go looking for them. 

But worse than his friends, the humans, or even the cat memes was the odd attachment he'd grown for his colleague, Giroro. Kururu didn't put much effort into keeping it a secret, but he didn't exactly act on his feelings either. He was willing to risk his life, but never his reputation. What if he got rejected? How would he ever live that down? It was okay when there was some amount of stipulation as to whether or not he was just trying to freak Giroro out. But if he really, honestly tried and failed... His chest twisted unpleasantly at the thought.

A paper caught his eye. Something he'd tossed aside earlier. Headquarters never sent him anything interesting. But he remembered skimming it... His little yellow fingers found the crumpled document. His contract was going to be up in a month. It would automatically renew or... Kururu could choose to end his service. The thought hadn't even occurred to him that he would want to move on. Despite the part of him that longed for something more, Kururu had never been more at home than he was on Earth. 

Of course... This could be the solution to all of his problems. He'd wreck some shit up, take some unnecessarily dangerous chances, and if everything went accordingly, he might even get a sappy, romantic ending. Even if it seemed impossible, he was Kururu. A God walking amongst ants. He made impossible things happen! 

And if this was the one thing even he couldn't make possible... 

Kururu glanced down at his letter, a sad shimmer flashing over his glasses. 

...There was always a failsafe.


	3. A Short Interlude

Tamama wasn't sure how he'd gotten away from the corporal so easily, but he wasn't going to question the blessing. It was important that he and Keroro's little secret stay between themselves. If word got out to headquarters, they could be dishonorably discharged, or worse- reassigned away from Pekopon, and each other.

Tamama felt like the luckiest Keronian alive every time he and his beloved sergeant made love. Every time -well, all three times it had happened so far at least. It was all so exhilarating! And... not really at all what he had expected it to be. There was something a lot less ethereal about his interest in Keroro now. That wasn’t to say it was bad! It just felt more grounded in reality was all. There was no dream romance floating just out of reach anymore. Only their very real selves in every moment going forward. 

Yes, Tamama felt very blessed but... at the same time he had his complaints. Although he didn’t have anything to compare his experience to, he couldn’t help but feel like Keroro... wasn’t... a very active lover. Which was fine! It was really okay. It was true to form, at least. Tamama thought back on their latest exploits. Keroro laying back in the pillows, completely still besides a couple of wayward bucks up into Tamama’s hand. It was great to see him like that, all splayed out, face contorted in pleasure. It was really great. So maybe it was a little selfish to ask for more, but... it just felt like maybe sex should be more of a two way street. Even when they had fucked proper, Keroro insisting that it was only right that the superior officer be on the giving end of things, Tamama still ended up doing all the work. And than well... 

They were both sweating, Tamama on top of Keroro, grinding down onto his cock to ride out his orgasm. Eyes half lidded, Keroro looked up at his partner, grasped desperately at his sides, muscles tightening. “So good private, oh,” he mewled. And as good as that moment had been... it was only a moment. And than Tamama was at Keroro’s side looking for more praise, companionship. But Keroro, well... 

Three times makes a pattern, and each and every time after Keroro came he would immediately pass out. The second time, Tamama didn’t even get to finish himself before Keroro was asleep. So even though sex had been far from a let down... He still had his critiques. Not a big deal. Just. Something to tweak... later on down the line. This would be a funny story someday that they could tell to other married couples probably. That’s what Tamama kept telling himself anyway. He was decently sure that that was how real adults conducted themselves. 

His plan for now was just kind of to not say anything and hope it all would work itself out. Because... what if he said something and hurt the sergeant’s very wound-able feelings bad enough that they couldn’t keep this amazing relationship up? The best thing was definitely just to wait. 

His sergeant was a genius under all that laziness and Gundam collecting. Surely he would figure out what was wrong all on his own.


	4. Romantic Sled Ride or Die

Giroro smiled at the warmth hugging his body. The whole of the world white except for a blurry yellow circle in the center of his half lidded gaze. 'The sun,' his thoughts sang out distantly. The sun had come out from her hiding place behind the clouds to save him. His sleepy hand reached out for her, wanting to be just a little closer to the sweet, comforting warmth radiating from the sky.

His hand bumped into the sun, and to Giroro's surprise he didn't burn up. The sun simply placed her own little yellow hand on top of his, making his dopey smile widen. However destructive people made her out to be, Giroro knew better. That beautiful little star had caught his eye since the first time they flew into this dingy solar system.

The fog swirled in Giroro's mind, slowly clearing away. The sun was becoming crisper in his vision- details that had been lost on him a moment ago painting a sickening picture. Not in the sky at all, not a maiden from the heavens. Just a curry coated frog, clutching his hand. 

"Kukuku, why corporal, how forward of you."

It hit Giroro like a speeding space cruiser. Kururu kneeling over him. Him, touching Kururu's face. Their hands intertwined. Here they were, thrown into a wintery abyss- Giroro, completely unprepared, but Kururu bundled in a made-to-fit coat that covered him from head to toe in light tan leather accented by thick white fur coating the inside and creating a fringe around the hood, and sleeves. He even had little matching boots poking out from underneath his long coat. Kururu had come dressed for the weather. Which meant that lunatic had sent them to this icy wasteland on purpose! 

Giroro's face contorted in disgust. In one swift movement, he retracted his hand, rolled away, and came up onto one knee. His arm reaching backwards with a practiced grace, a movement that his cybernetic enhancements were programmed to respond to by teleporting a gun into his hand, but when he pulled back, arm extended towards Kururu, ready to fire...he wasn't holding anything. 

A feeling of violation set in Giroro's stomach. What did that creep do to him while he was passed out? And where on Pekopon were they? One of the poles? "You have five seconds to explain what the Hell is going on!" Giroro snarled, ready to attack, even if his only weapon was his fists. 

"I temporarily disconnected you from your arsenal. No reason to ruin the longstanding alliance between Keron and Yaiton by needlessly breaking their by-laws (however pesky they might be...). I thought now would be a good time to test something I've been working on," he waved a hand nonchalantly, "You might've noticed you aren't shivering your cute little butt off anymore." 

Giroro defensively covered his butt with both hands, blushing a deeper red. It was true, though, even surrounded by snow, he didn't feel any of the biting cold. This concoction could have insurmountably important military application. One of the Keronian's biggest weaknesses overcome! Still... Giroro stood his ground, "Why couldn't you have tested it on yourself?" 

A flash of something sinister reflected off Kururu's glasses, "Because if something goes wrong, my little guinea pig, I'm the only one who can fix it."

Where did Kururu get off calling him- a hardened soldier- something as innocuous as a guinea pig? Growling lowly, Giroro threw his hands up in the air, "Great! We tested it. It works. Now let's go back to the base-" 

"Not quite yet. I need to see how the drug behaves over a period of time. Besides... I have some errands to run." 

"Errands? HERE?" Giroro motioned to the flat, empty landscape around them. 

"Nn. I ordered something very important from a town, some miles south of here. Do you have any idea how much it is to ship packages from this galaxy to Pekopon?" There was a dramatic pause, and than Kururu answered his own rhetorical question, "Over 1,000 yen."

"You cheapskate!" Giroro grabbed onto the front of Kururu's jacket, "You couldn't have gotten us any closer to town?" 

"Hn," Kururu grunted, idly picking his nose despite limping hanging in Giroro’s grasp, "They aren't currently allowing teleportation access anywhere near city limits. Laws are boring, but I'm too young and beautiful to waste my life in the salt mines." Kururu pointed to the horizon and in doing so also flicked a booger off his finger, "I didn't inject myself with the drug, you know, if we don't get going soon, I'll freeze to death." 

Giroro dropped Kururu, folded his arms over his chest, and closed his eyes in a show of obstinance, but still conceded, "You promise to make it quick?" 

"Of course, we'll be back in no more than a day." 

Something audibly clicked inside Giroro's head. The sound of a dam breaking. If only he could make his weapon appear, he'd blow Kururu back to Pekopon and make him wish he'd payed his 1,000 yen shipping cost. Instead, Giroro settled for grabbing onto the front of Kururu's jacket again, and holding his fist up to that irritating grin of his. 

Giroro felt an extra twinge of loathing coarse through him when the sergeant major's grin only grew under his threatening stance. Why did someone with so much potential have to be so... weird? 

Giroro lightly pushed Kururu away from him, "This is a waste of time. Send me back," he demanded. 

"If you insist... I wouldn't recommend it, though. The drug is meant for use in sub zero temperatures, it could be unstable in Pekoponian autumn..." 

There was no way Giroro was spending a whole day doing who knows what with this little creep. Running out of options, he harrumphed, "I'll just... Sit right here than." He plopped himself down childishly onto the ground. All the surrounding snow slowly turned into a slushy puddle around his unnaturally warm posterior.

Standing over him, Kururu's face was unreadable, and his even, monotone voice spoke miles of his indifference, "Okay, have a fun 24 hours..." 

As he trailed off, his shadow seemed to turn a shade darker. Kururu was a swirling abyss, sucking all the light away from the painfully white landscape. It was a slow motion, but Giroro with his wide eyes, and dropped mouth just listened as Kururu leaned down to hover much too close for Giroro's comfort. "Kuku...Funny thing I should probably mention before I go, though..." his annunciation was painful, piercing, "There's a chance -however low it may be- that the injection will make your internal organs turn to mush." 

"Mush?" Giroro's voice cracked, but he quickly recovered his stanch anger, "Why would you inject me with something that could cause any part of me to turn to 'mush'?" 

"Experimentation is an important step in the scientific process, in case of incorrect dosage, or unforeseen adverse side effects. Any number of HORRIBLY painful things could happen... Kukuku! Assuming you stay with me, I could easily repair the damage. Of course if you sit out here where I can't monitor you... well, it's a bit tricky even for me to fix 'dead'," Kururu shrugged, turning away as if he were bored with the conversation, "But you're free to do whatever you want." 

Kururu's hunched form gradually grew smaller on the skyline. The thought of what it might feel like to have your guts 'turn to mush' entered Giroro's mind as he watched him go. Was his pride really worth abandoning his comrade and possibly dying? For once, Kururu's messing around did have some amount of merit in it. It would've been nice to be able to give consent to being used as a lab rat, but other than that, what did he really have a right to be mad about? Something twisted in his gut, fear for himself, and -not that he would admit it- a little bit of guilt. 

A few yards away now, Kururu stared down at a little device flashing a gridded map on screen. He wiped his running nose on his sleeve. This part of the plan was taking longer than he'd calculated. If Giroro didn't comply soon he'd be running the risk of getting frost bite... or worse. The silence behind him was suddenly broken by fast, crunching footsteps. Only the corner of his mouth flinched, revealing his happiness to a nonexistent close observer. 

"Kururu! Wait..." Giroro yelled.

Kururu regarded him with a pause in his slow step. They shared a silent glance. An understanding passed through like an electric current on their gaze. It filled Giroro with something he couldn't quite describe. A warmth. 

The spell that held them their, just as frozen as the ground under their feet, was broken when Kururu's head suddenly whipped back. "Aaa-CHOO-" the sneeze was high pitched, and followed by a series of annoyed grunts from it's owner. 

Giroro pursed his lips together, attempting to hold in a bought of laughter. The laugh died on his tongue prematurely, though, when Kururu sniffled and shook slightly. How had he not noticed Kururu's state before? His face was starting to look more red than yellow, especially around his dripping nostrils. It was a rare sight, seeing the devil reduced to such a vulnerable mess. The infectious cold seemed to be spreading, his teeth chattered, and his knees bent under his own shivering weight. 

Acting on some inner familial instinct he liked to keep dormant -especially when dealing with THINGS like Kururu-, Giroro reached out for the heap of shivering frog. There was only a second of hesitation before his hand closed around the other's snot covered coat sleeve and pulled him in. 

Kururu's body tensed at the sudden contact, but relaxed when he found himself nested in Giroro's arms. He let out a shaky, "Ku," and tried his best to conceal his nuzzling as chilled quaking. The moment of closeness was worth the horrible embarrassment. 

Standing in a single spot made the ice and snow melt around Giroro's feet, and the subsequent water squelching under him made him realize that the warmth in his core was radiating out into the world. A handy side effect of Kururu's mysterious injection. 

"Dammit," Giroro whispered, hugging Kururu tighter, "I don't know how you've lasted this long, with all the needless risks you take." 

"Don't patronize me, old man," Kururu sniffed, slipping his virtual map into his pocket. Even behind the clouds, he could tell that the planet's sun was getting close to setting. The temperature would drop to dangerous levels at night. "We need to get moving," Kururu insisted, than taking Giroro's hand, "But stay close." 

The blank sheet of ice and snow seemed to continue on endlessly. For all Giroro could tell, he was paying for some ultimate sin by being forced to walk circles in eternal winter with only a light symphony of wind humming passed the flaps of his hat to distract from the closeness of the devil himself. 

When he tried to tune everything out, he only managed to isolate the feeling of Kururu's heartbeat. Was it supposed to be that fast? Maybe it was a fear of mortality putting his senses on edge. 

Daylight faded away fast, but an eerie light stretched from beyond the horizon, reflected off the white of the land, and warded off the darkness of the clouded dusk. It had been difficult to tell from a distance, but Giroro realized the light was coming from an approaching drop-off. "We're nearly there," Kururu muttered quietly. 

Giroro gasped at the sight that lay just under the edge of the cliff. A solitary city, surrounded by a glowing green tinted barrier. From where the pair stood it looked more like a shimmering gem. Pulsing like the surface of a lake. 

They stood there taking it in for a moment. Than Kururu spoke up, squeezing Giroro's hand a bit, "Pretty, huh?" 

"Yes..." Giroro couldn't deny it was quite a sight, but the situation begged a question, "How do you plan to get us down there?" He wanted to get angry, but something about the beautiful light below, and Kururu's bouts of shaking wouldn't let him. 

“I can think of a hundred different ways to get down there, each more safe and efficient than the last. But I thought it would be fun to use this instead-“ he pulled a little box out of his pocket, pressed the red button on top with a big sweep of his hand, “Pochito!”, and tossed it to the ground. The box quickly unfolded into... what looked like a perfectly normal plastic Pekoponian sled. If someone was looking for it, they might have noticed Kururu’s insignia engraved into the side, oddly metallic against the cheap looking blue plastic. Other than that the little ride was perfectly unassuming. 

Horrendously unfit for a pair of hardened soldiers, Giroro thought. 

“No.” 

Kururu bravely linked their arms and gave a light tug at his only slightly unwilling partner of this planet’s evening’s exploits, “Oh... lighten up corporal. Unless you want to try jumping off the side of this cliff without the help of my little invention.” A once over of the sled did not leave Giroro feeling very confident in their chances of not getting horribly injured on their way down the almost 90 degree drop off with or without it. 

But at this point there really wasn’t much of a choice. With Kururu it was literally ride or die. 

“Okay fine,” Giroro agreed, barely stopping himself from adding that even though he was going along with it, he was still unhappy about the proceedings. It was probably just the experimental drug coursing through his veins, but he felt his face heat up, and could almost see the blush radiating off of his own skin. 

Kururu let out a little laugh, maybe even something light hearted enough that it could be called a giggle. 

They each got on the sled, Kururu happily sidling up against Giroro’s back and hugging his waist. A couple minutes passed before Giroro’s patience ran out. 

“Okay, so what do we do to activate it?” He asked, running his hand along the plastic side handles, thinking there must be a button someplace. Kururu laughed, the fur on his hood tickling lightly at Giroro’s back. 

“Activate? It’s just a sled, senpai.” 

“I... hate you so much,” Giroro sighed, and went about slowly scooching the sled toward the edge of the cliff by doing an awkward wiggle of his hips. This was maybe the stupidest thing he’d ever done in his entire life. And under Keroro’s lead he’d done some pretty stupid stuff. They teetered precariously on the edge for a moment that seemed to stretch out for an unbearable amount of time. 

Then gravity took hold and they went careening down, down, down...


End file.
